Today is again my birthday.. Having received lots of wishes from old friends, new friends from new community, also some Facebook post, and the surprise I've got during our life-group (bible study group) last Saturday, and also little surprise last night (and ended up playing one of my favorite sports: ping-pong) i feel very thankful to God for that. But being 33 years old, i find birthday is not something that i really looking forward - as it is not that i don’t like it, but I’m not expecting it too much compared to when i was still a kid. When i reflect on my days when i was still a kid, it was such a loud and merry event on my life. I expect lots of thing: from many presents (and not just a simple present, but things that I’ve dreamt to have) so i put this expectancy especially to my parents: I have to get one and if not iIm pretty sure i will be disappointed. I was expecting friends, and parties that will last forever.
I now realised that birthday is not about me any more, and so I don’t really expect those kind of thing that i did when i was a kid. Birthday has always been a day for me to reflect on the years that has passed. On this birthday, i realised many things changed on my life: my community has changed slightly since we moved to different church (though we still keep contact with my old friends from my previous church), my work environment even has changed (my boss which i learned so much on his leadership on corporate sense, has resign), i have now moved and stay on this place without realising that it has been 2 years, I’m no longer a child but instead i am now a husband, things happening with my relationship with my parents, I feel closed to some of my friend which i used to be not so close, our bible study group seems to be more intimate, and I have my wife here with me since we married a year and 8 months ago, also realising I have some frowns on my forehead. Things going up and down, birthdays come and go, and years may pass away, but God never changed: His love and mercy never fade. More than all outward things that happen, when i look on the inside on my spiritual journey, i can only cry out to God and say thanks for what He has done.
I kept realising how unworthy I am; which on one side it puts me down.. and keep praying as i need God to help me grow, and to keep “saving” me from day to day life - as a proof that He indeed has saved me. But on the other side it encourage me to live better and better so that i don’t make a shame on His name. I tried and failed, sometimes a little success then failed again, a little success, failed, and so on. Today I am very grateful to God who has used pastor Dale Stephenson who preached last Sunday, and that gives encouragement to me about God. I keep reflecting on what he speaks on the sermon throughout the day on this verse below:
“Then Moses said to God, “If I come to the people of Israel and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ what shall I say to them?” God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” And he said, “Say this to the people of Israel, ‘I am has sent me to you.’” (Exodus 3:13-14, ESV)
My God is the Great, I AM (in hebrew: Ehyeh asher ehyeh; in greek: ego eimi)! and this truth relieved me so much. As I reflected on this truth.. there are two things i am very thankful and blessed:
1. God is always present
God did not say that He is the Great “I WAS” only (past), or “ I WILL BE” only (future), but instead He is the Great “I AM” meaning He is My God today, at this moment, from time to time, He is here.. When things changed, or even though I walk through the valley of deep darkness, I will fear no evil, because God is there with me. He is the Great “I AM”. He is here, in the midst of my uncertain life. I am not alone, because He is the Great “I AM”. Everyone may leave me, but God will always be here.
2. God has all the power.
Another important truth is that He is not just present, but the word “I AM” there is spoken with such authority and dignity. God said it with certainty on what He has planned to do, because simply he is the “GREAT” I AM. My God who is living in the middle of my midst is not just an “I am” but he is the “GREAT” I AM. If things go wrong, I know that He who is sovereign will overcome my weakness and my reluctance so that I could come and seek Him for help.
“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2, ESV)
The verse above was saying in a difficult moment. Why the psalmist says about the need of a help to come when he lifted his eyes to the hills? It was because those time, going through the hills or mountain is such a scary place, as the enemy might struck them at any time, and it is really their disadvantage when the enemy trapped them from top of the hill. But the psalmist knows that even he is at disadvantage, he is actually save, because He has GOD who made the heaven and the earth as their helper.
He is the GREAT I AM that is my helper, and the God who i serve. I prayed one thing to Thee to be my helper throughout the days of my life as he has promised to never forsake His children till the end of the age - and that relieved me and encourage me once again on my birthday. Lord, may i know and feel that you are always present in my life, and that would gives me strength and courage to serve You more. I bless You and worship You, My Saviour and My God. Thank you for your leading so far, and help me to understand and hear Your voice clearly.
Amen,
Paul
I now realised that birthday is not about me any more, and so I don’t really expect those kind of thing that i did when i was a kid. Birthday has always been a day for me to reflect on the years that has passed. On this birthday, i realised many things changed on my life: my community has changed slightly since we moved to different church (though we still keep contact with my old friends from my previous church), my work environment even has changed (my boss which i learned so much on his leadership on corporate sense, has resign), i have now moved and stay on this place without realising that it has been 2 years, I’m no longer a child but instead i am now a husband, things happening with my relationship with my parents, I feel closed to some of my friend which i used to be not so close, our bible study group seems to be more intimate, and I have my wife here with me since we married a year and 8 months ago, also realising I have some frowns on my forehead. Things going up and down, birthdays come and go, and years may pass away, but God never changed: His love and mercy never fade. More than all outward things that happen, when i look on the inside on my spiritual journey, i can only cry out to God and say thanks for what He has done.
I kept realising how unworthy I am; which on one side it puts me down.. and keep praying as i need God to help me grow, and to keep “saving” me from day to day life - as a proof that He indeed has saved me. But on the other side it encourage me to live better and better so that i don’t make a shame on His name. I tried and failed, sometimes a little success then failed again, a little success, failed, and so on. Today I am very grateful to God who has used pastor Dale Stephenson who preached last Sunday, and that gives encouragement to me about God. I keep reflecting on what he speaks on the sermon throughout the day on this verse below:
“Then Moses said to God, “If I come to the people of Israel and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ what shall I say to them?” God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” And he said, “Say this to the people of Israel, ‘I am has sent me to you.’” (Exodus 3:13-14, ESV)
My God is the Great, I AM (in hebrew: Ehyeh asher ehyeh; in greek: ego eimi)! and this truth relieved me so much. As I reflected on this truth.. there are two things i am very thankful and blessed:
1. God is always present
God did not say that He is the Great “I WAS” only (past), or “ I WILL BE” only (future), but instead He is the Great “I AM” meaning He is My God today, at this moment, from time to time, He is here.. When things changed, or even though I walk through the valley of deep darkness, I will fear no evil, because God is there with me. He is the Great “I AM”. He is here, in the midst of my uncertain life. I am not alone, because He is the Great “I AM”. Everyone may leave me, but God will always be here.
2. God has all the power.
Another important truth is that He is not just present, but the word “I AM” there is spoken with such authority and dignity. God said it with certainty on what He has planned to do, because simply he is the “GREAT” I AM. My God who is living in the middle of my midst is not just an “I am” but he is the “GREAT” I AM. If things go wrong, I know that He who is sovereign will overcome my weakness and my reluctance so that I could come and seek Him for help.
“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2, ESV)
The verse above was saying in a difficult moment. Why the psalmist says about the need of a help to come when he lifted his eyes to the hills? It was because those time, going through the hills or mountain is such a scary place, as the enemy might struck them at any time, and it is really their disadvantage when the enemy trapped them from top of the hill. But the psalmist knows that even he is at disadvantage, he is actually save, because He has GOD who made the heaven and the earth as their helper.
He is the GREAT I AM that is my helper, and the God who i serve. I prayed one thing to Thee to be my helper throughout the days of my life as he has promised to never forsake His children till the end of the age - and that relieved me and encourage me once again on my birthday. Lord, may i know and feel that you are always present in my life, and that would gives me strength and courage to serve You more. I bless You and worship You, My Saviour and My God. Thank you for your leading so far, and help me to understand and hear Your voice clearly.
Amen,
Paul
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